Waiting for the other shoe to drop…

Alternately titled: “…are they gonna stand their ground? are they gonna let you down again?”

Here’s a little known fact about me: I love to meet new people, but I’m scared to make new friends. Since I am a walking ball of contradiction, that should make complete sense to anyone that knows me, haha! Honestly, I’ve had some bad luck in the friendship department over the years. The worst of all was when people I thought were going to be lifelong friends turned around and completely gutted me once I was no longer of use to them. Nice, huh?

At any rate, for a long while I’ve only claimed a few people as friend: Ally, Kiks, LTeezy, & C-Squared. Everyone else was relegated to the ranks of associate or people I’m “cool” with. The women mentioned above have been my girls for years. They know some of my demons that I keep hidden from the rest of the world. They know me beyond the facade that I put up to appease the masses. I mean, they’ve seen me UGLY CRY & everything, haha!

Lately though, this circle has widened quite significantly (by my standards). I have had the pleasure of meeting some amazing women that I am thankful to now call friend. In the back of my mind I was still a bit anxious with these friendsips though because of the issues in the past. I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop and drama to ensue. Honestly, I know that this is not likely to happen because all of these new friends in my life are upfront, in your face, women in every sense. If we ever had a problem, I am most certain that they would approach me directly and we’d get everything hashed out.

My birthday this year was a testament to the fact that I am truly surrounded by some amazing people in my life. I sent out an email inviting people to come by & celebrate with me. And honestly? I didn’t expect it to be anyone but me and the friends I’ve known for years who never let me down. Imagine my surprise when MOST ALL of my new friends showed up and showed out. The ones who could not make it expressed their regrets, but sent some token to represent their presence anyhow. There were a few times during the night when I looked around and just wanted to burst into tears because I was so happy.

I’m no longer waiting for that other shoe to drop. I am completely and utterly convinced that these friendship foraged will be lifelong. I trust these chicas with most anything (no one knows all :-/) & would like them to know that they can trust me all the same.

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