Things I Learned Last Week

I was afforded an amazing opportunity last week. I have to rewind a bit to get to it, so bare (bear? IDK, I always confuse this saying) with me. So if you’re uninitiated, there are three artists on this here Earth that I stan for harder than anything. Janet. The Yoncé. And Kelly Clarkson. The last doesn’t really fit in with the others, but that voice won me over the first second she belted on American Idol. Anyway, through the Kelly thing I’ve been blessed to meet a tremendous amount of people and befriend the best of the best of that bunch. Fast forward to years later and one of the group was getting married. I was honored that a) I was even invited and 2) I was one of few who were able to witness the nuptials as the wedding was a destination extravaganza. I was on the isle of the Dominican Republic for 6 days, 5 nights and LOVED every single second of it.

In the time I spent basking in the sun, body rollin’ and sipping ridiculous amounts of house champagne, I had a series of thoughts that I felt that I needed to share with you all. So here we go…

1) I am ready for love.

At the risk of sounding like that insipid India.Arie song that I hate I think I am finally ready. I’ve been on what I’ve called a dating hiatus for…well let’s just say I think Bush II was in office the last time I was serious about someone. I’ve had dalliances here and there, but no one really managed to capture my heart in any way. I’ve been asked by a few people what’s wrong with me and I’d just get really frustrated. I honestly wasn’t in the headspace where love was a priority for me. If I happened to meet someone, great. But I wasn’t actively seeking it. Sitting on the sidelines seeing some of my girls go through it with their sig oths certainly did not make this any more appealing. At the ceremony, I did one of my favorite things which is taking a peek at the groom as he sees his wife to be for the first time. The huge grin on his face coupled with the love shining in his eyes got me. For the first time in a long time, I immediately thought “WOW. I cannot WAIT to feel like that.” I was taken a aback a bit by the strong rush of emotion, but after marinating on it for a few days. I’m ready to stand in it. So I’m semi on the prowl, looking for prospects LOL. I’m ready to give and receive love.

2) My friends are awesome.

I have been blessed to cross paths with some of the most amazing people in life. We all have our little idiosyncrasies, but I am so thankful to have each of them in my life. I lost a good friend earlier this year over something that now (to me) seems really trivial. Since the dissolution of that friendship however, I am now making a cognizant effort to make sure that I am the type of friend to my friends that I feel like they are to me. I want to make sure they know that I have their backs no matter what. I need them to know that if you call me at 4am souping snot and babbling incoherently, I will be initially annoyed, but will get over it quickly. I want them to know that the word friend is not one I use lightly. Everyone does not get the title and if you hear that word flow freely from my lips in reference to you, then you’re automatically family.

4*) My new life’s philosophy is to LIVE IN THE MOMENT.

Social media has ruined me. Taking this trip put me in a position where I could not Facebook, Tweet, Instagram every second of the awesomeness. I was forced to FULLY be present . I was reminded of when life was simpler and we didn’t necessarily need to let everyone else know how much of a good time we were having, we just had a good time. Before the advent of smartphones, social networking and the incessant need to give the world a bird’s eye view into every aspect of our lives, no matter how much we control what was being shown. I took approximately 20 pictures. Each of them were taken with the mindset of “Ok, dammit I did promise so and so I’d show them parts of my vacation when I got back…” The rest of the time I was reminded of this one video I saw from a Beyonce concert. This kid was in the pit and she was literally 2 feet away from him singing. Instead of vibing and being in the moment, he was snapping photos or videos with his smartphone like a madman. Bey calls him out on it saying something like “I am standing right in front of you. Live in this moment. Put that damn phone down.” I remember laughing so hard at the video, namely because I couldn’t figure out how I would handle the same situation. I mean I’d obviously want people to know I was that close to royalty (*lulz*), but I dunno. Sometimes the memory is just enough. Like I have no photographic proof that Oprah gave me a high ten, but the memory of the moment of being singled out is something that a photograph would never ever be able to convey.

I’ve digressed, but the kids may be onto something with that YOLO shit. Now I’m not getting all wild and crazy, but I now certainly aim to live life in a way that allows me to be present in the moment and soak it all in. Living in the now and giving it all I’ve got is the name of the game right now.


*There is no number three because I don’t like for things to end on odd numbers.

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