The Epitome of Ho Shit…

So I was sitting at work, minding my own when a song popped into my head. I started humming it while reading a book at lunch and couldn’t get it out of my brain. I only knew the chorus, but not who sung it so I went to my friend Googlisha to figure it all out. The song in question is Skyy – Call Me.

At first I was listening to the song and groovin’, then all of a sudden I got REALLY angry. This song is like a trollop’s anthem. Allow me to break it down for ya…

Sittin here
Couldnt help hear you talkin to your best friend
Say, youre not satisfied
Things aint workin out with your girlfriend
So your searchin for someone new
Someone to hold you tight, someone to treat you right

So homegirl over here ear hustlin’ & some dude is complaining about his lady. she sees an opening & says, “Hmmm, lemme try to get put on.” I’m not mad at her at this point. She doesn’t know ol’ girl, they aren’t married, & it seems as if the relationship is going down the tubes anyway. Get it where she fits in, I guess. Though I must say, I can’t fully ascribe to this practice, I can see where she’s going. But then…THEN the slattern croons the next lines…

Though your girlfriends a friend of mine
Heres my number and a dime, call me anytime

In the words of Beyonce: STOP THE TRACK, LEMME FACE FACTS! Did this heffa just say his girl was a FRIEND of hers? Not just some heffa who lives up the block. Not her mortal enemy. Not some random stranger. Her FRIEND. I am flabbergasted. I am disgusted. I am ret to kick in the do’, wavin’ the fo’ fo’ (word to Biggie).

Call me – if you need someone to talk to
Call me – satisfaction guaranteed
Call me – if you need someone to talk to
Call me – call me!

Ho, you wanna do more than talkin’ if you guaranteein’ satisfaction! #imjussayin More like “Call me if you wanna getcho dick sucked…”

She wasnt good to ya
Was a prude to ya
Dont like to do the things you like to do
She doesnt do to ya
The things she did to ya
Show you lovin like she used to

Ain’t this some ish? Not only are you scammin’ on ya homegirl’s man, but then you go doggin’ her. I bet you over there tellin’ her that he ain’t shit. Mmmmhmmm. I see through your hoenificence (shout out to the homie @Reads4Pleasure for that gem)!

Well, I been watchin you boy
And I’ve got what you want, got what you need
Though your girlfriends a friend of mine
Heres my number and a dime, call me anytime

Planning this for a while, have we? MMMMHMMM. JUST WRONG. Dead wrong.

Then…THEN this ninja…

Hello, how ya doin?
No, she’s gone.
I figured I’d give you a call and see if you were serious.
To this little place that I like to go to.
Its kinda dark and quiet and…

Mmmmhmmm, you know his triflin’ behind used that dime & called the ho. Talmbout he tryna see if she serious. Ninja please. You prolly ain’t give the ho time to get back to the crib to answer the phone before you dialed them 7. *sigh*

Moral of the story: Don’t befriend known whores and leave them around your man. Inevitably, #hoshit happens.

One Response to “The Epitome of Ho Shit…”

  • MJW says:

    Love this post! Interesting song…never heard it. The hoshit happens is so true. I'm stealing that from you!

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