The Epitome of Ho Shit Vol. 2

Hey y’all! I feel like this should be a regular feature as I keep coming across songs that make me say “Well if that ain’t #hoshit, I dunno what is…” This is my 6th favorite Amy Winehouse song ever recorded*. This song…y’all, if there was a “Ho Shit in Lyrics” Hall of Fame, it would most certainly be inducted, post haste. The song in question is “I Heard Love Is Blind”.

I couldn’t resist him
His eyes were like yours
His hair was exactly the shade of brown
Hes just not as tall, but I couldn’t tell

Innocent flirtation or something more? Amy starts off waxing poetic about how this man reminded her of the Boo. Oh, you got confused because they had similar features? Really, Amy? Was it his fraternal twin brother? A close cousin or other relative? Oh wait…nope. It’s because…

It was dark and I was lying down

Hold fast. I’m sorry, whaaa? We all know dark & lying down = horizontal polka. She just goes right for the jugular. Doesn’t ease into telling her boo that she cheated. Basically, he looked like you, I thought maybe it could be you, so I went ahead and dropped down & got my eagle on.

You are everything he means nothing to me
I cant even remember his name

Welp, there goes that “bumping uglies w/ a member of the Boo’s family” theory from earlier. This was most definitely a stranger. Also, if your man is everything, why are you in these streets gettin’ it in with every Tom, Dick, or Harry you run across, hrrrmmmmm?

Why you so upset?
Baby, you weren’t there
And I was thinking of you when I came

Really?! You’re questioning why your man is upset with you for cheating on him with some random stranger. Because everything about that situation seems like it’s okay to you, huh? then…Then…THEN, you hit him with that last line which was equivalent to saying “Game. Set. & Match.” re: your relationship. Smaaaaart…

What do you expect?
You left me here alone
I drank so much and needed to touch

Ah, here we go. Turning the tables. Yes, because you were sans your partner and drinking, it’s perfectly feasible that you would end up falling into bed with a stranger. What the hell are you, a character from Grey’s Anatomy?! Also, you miiiight wanna see someone about that drinking problem.

Don’t overreact I pretended he was you
You wouldn’t want me to be lonely

Bwahahaha! I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t want you to be cheating on him either! #jusssayin

How can I put it so you understand?
I didn’t let him hold my hand

Uh, I don’t think he *will* understand, but you gon’ head & try, doll. Oh. Okay. It was “just sex”. There was no emotional attachment. Right. Got it. Never mind the fact that you attached your genitals to someone who wasn’t your significant other whilst still in a relationship with him. Classy!

But he looked like you
I guess he looked like you
No he wasn’t you

Well what was it, Ames? Did he look like yo’ man or did he not? I’m thinking it’s the latter. 😉

But you can still trust me, this ain’t infidelity
Its not cheating; you were on my mind
Yes he looked like you
But I heard love is blind

*floating to the upper room*

*Amy Winehouse Top 10
1. “Tears Dry on Their Own” (The Motown-esque sound of this record sends me up!)
2. “Take the Box” (Saddest. Song. Ever! The high notes she hits near the end tho?!)
3. “Rehab” (Feel good song about a not so feel good subject)
4. “October Song” (Today, my bird flew away…YYAAASSSS!)
5. “Valerie” (This is another one w/ an old school flair that I <3)
6. “I Heard Love is Blind” (#hoshit)
7. “You Sent Me Flying” (Lent you Outsidaz and my new Baduuuu…C’MON AMY!)
8. “Fool’s Gold” (Raw emotion)
9. “Back to Black”
10. “You Know I’m No Good”
Honorable Mentions: “Moody’s Mood for Love”, “Brother”, “What It Is”, “Love Is a Losing Game”, “Some Unholy War”

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