It’s been a minute…’sup.
I’ve been off doing things. Like traveling. Earning advanced degrees. Tryna find a lil summer baefriend. Assisting in raising a man-child. And writing books ‘n shit.
And it’s been amazing…TRULY AMAZING. I’ve connected with people in ways that I’d never before. Explored some places I’d only been in passing. Made a lil coint. Expanded my world view. Did a lot of soul seeking and self-evaluation. But the thing that’s happened most often and is still so very weird to me is…
I have fans, y’all. Like, real life fans. And it’s a bit unnerving, if I’m being honest. It’s wild, right? Because I am a fan of several people (Jan, Bey, Kel, ToMo, Zora, etc etc etc), so like I get it. You connect with an artist and their body of work. After a while a mere passing like of whatever they release for you to consume transforms into a ravenous desire to devour anything they touch, greedily absorbing it into your consciousness.
I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it, honestly. A great example of this is…the other day I commented on someone’s IG story bc she was sharing a testimony of how far she’s come in the past few months. So often on social media we give the highlight reel, but she cut to the quick, juxtaposing her lows of 17 against her highs of 18. And it touched me deeply. I thought her transparency was admirable so I replied as much and her response shocked the hell outta me. Basically she went super fangirl like “omg you’re one of my favorite authors” and I’m like “me?!”
Because…like…I’m nobody special. I don’t mean that in a deprecating way, but just like I’m normal as fuh. Everybody is special to somebody or whateva, right? But I’m just silly ass, irreverent JNic. I talk way too much shit. I’m flippant. I’m (at times) too transparent while also intensely protective of my time, energy, and relationships.
None of that matters to the admirers of my work though. They dig it. They connect with my messiness and embrace it. Which is cool. But also wild strange. But also very, super fucking cool.
I published my first book on a whim and honestly, didn’t know if there would be more to follow. Being a writer has always been a pie in the sky kinda ideal for me, not super tangible or practical. I’m nice with wordplay, but it takes more than that to captivate an audience, you know?
So to hear people cite a particular passage or scene that really resonated with them? Or to get messages or gratitude from folks who have experienced similar situations to the ones in which I’ve placed my characters? Or to meet someone in real life and have them hit me with the “you are so damned funny”? It means a lot. More than I could actually ever express in words.