This will be stream of consciousness as I just now in this moment decided to blog.
Points of precipitation perched precariously poised to tumble torpidly*…
I’m hella transparent in this space, so I feel as if I can share this w/ y’all. All of a sudden I just got really sad. Like right now I’m sitting in my cubicle at work on the verge of tears.
I don’t know why it just hit me like a ton of bricks, but I’m just sick. Sick of the insecurity. Sick of the unknown. Sick of the disappointment. Sick of the failures. Sick of the feeling insignificant. SICK OF IT ALL.
My job sucks. *sigh* There, I’ve said it aloud. I went from one bad situation to one that I feel like is even worse. Proof that once again, the grass isn’t always greener. I was pretty much fooled into thinking things would be better than they actually are. SURPRISE! Me falling for the okey doke once again. You would think I would be able to recognize when people are blowing smoke up my arse, but apparently…notsomuch.
I feel like an ungrateful brat complaining when one of my good friends just got laid off unexpectedly & is in the trenches looking for a gig after working @ her place for 5+ yrs. But, my lord, is it too much to ask to be if not fulfilled then at least occupied by one’s work. I feel unneeded, unnecessary, & out of place at this gig.
Problem is, I don’t know what to do though. I can’t quit because…yeah, no. I’m too caught up in how I’ll be perceived if I complain about this place, so I’ve been pasting on the happy facade like everything is all good, but nah…not really. Still in a dead end job w/ nothing to do all day but play FarmVille & tweet & surf the innawebs & *sigh*…
*Word of the day, FTW!