Saving this for posterity.

Yesterday, The Veep and I were having a heart to heart via email. I’m putting this email that I sent to her here to remind me to keep striving to have this attitude.

Believe me when I say that I completely understand you when it comes to letting go and just blindly trusting someone to not completely maul your heart. That ish is hard. I know personally I look at my parents’ marriage and I think I don’t want that. I don’t want to be with someone, think I love them oh so much and it’s forever, and then have it fall apart like that. Then when you put kids in that situation it becomes even more F.U.B.A.R. (google it if you dunno what it means. It’s awesome! lol). Not to mention the resounding effects it has on the children. I often think that my thoughts on relationships and love would be completely different if I grew up in an environment where both of those were long lasting and less dramaful.

We need to fight that feeling though. Find someone who is worth taking the leap for and just free fall. If we hit the ground and get bruised, take it as a lesson learned, don’t become bitter and scorned. Believe in the sanctity of marriage. Bask in the positivity of true love. Live in the moment and just be. Light. Easy. Free. Loving fully without looking over our shoulder for something bad to happen or waiting for the other show to drop. Trusting another damaged (coz we all are) human being to hold the most fragile part of you in his grasp and not kill it. It’s so easy to say all of these things, but living them is another story. Every time I try to let go, my grip gets fiercer. I keep holding out, hoping & praying that I will meet the man who not only will try to pry my grip away from that hold, but will make me want to release it with no second thoughts. It’s the romantic in me. Sue me. LOL

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