On Pride & falling…

How many of you have heard the phrase “Pride comes before the fall…” or something similar? That is a complete misquote, btw. This morning I was trying to remember the exact quote about pride & falling and apparently I (& a host of other people) have been incorrect in our phrasing. The correct quote is derived from a Biblical passage in the 16th chapter of the book of Proverbs (!!!) that states:

17 The highway of the upright avoids evil;
he who guards his way guards his life.

18 Pride goes before destruction,
a haughty spirit before a fall.

ganked from a New International Version translation

Today, I found myself in a precarious situation. Scratch that, about three months ago I found myself in a precarious situation. Instead of taking heed of the signs that were consistently showing themselves to me, I ignored them in the hopes that I was possibly overreacting to the situation and things would right themselves sooner rather than later. Giving myself a big ol’ o_0 for that foolish train of thought.

Now I find myself in a situation where I need to swallow my pride & go crawling back to someone whose help I thought I would never need again. *sigh* Yet, as much as I know I need to do this, I just can’t bring myself to actually do it. There’s nothing like feeling like you’ve made a pretty big mistake, but dreading trying to fix it. The “I told you so”s are inevitable. Because apparently my main goal in life is to associate with people who love to throw shit back in my face after I try something different and it doesn’t work out.

For the past two weeks, I’ve been grappling with the fact that I need to put my pride aside. I know it’s the right decision, but it’s just not the easiest. Every difficult decision that I have ever had to make in my life usually ends up being the one that is most beneficial in the long run. While I do initially regret the decisions, later reflection shows me that I did what was needed.

See here’s the thing. I think I need to quit my job. Actually it’s more like I know I need to before I end up in a bad position. Without going into too much detail, there have been a lot of disruptions in my place of employment recently that lead me to believe that by summer’s end I’ll have to be on the hunt again. Rather than getting caught with my pants down, I’ve decided to be proactive in my job hunt. It was suggested to me that I call one of my old superiors at the place that majors in careers to see if I could go back there and…*sigh*

Here’s the thing. When I left, the person under whose direct supervision I was said “you’ll be back, they all come back.” Really pissed me off because I don’t like when people make assumptions like that. In all honesty, I don’t want to go back there. I’d rather be FUNemployed before returning back to that place, but I know that if push comes to shove & I hafta swallow that pride and return…I’ll never hear the end of it.

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