I spoke him up.

I had an excellent weekend. My friend Jenny Rae invited me to go on a road trip to Grand Rapids, MI to go to the Kelly & Reba concert on Saturday, so I was kinda excited. It was my last real excursion for the year and I knew that I’d have fun with the group of folks that were going. After taking forever to meet up with J.Rae n’em, we got on the road. Concert was fabulous (2nd row thanks to J.Rae) and we left feeling pretty good. I met a ton of folks at dinner and was looking forward to continuing the party @ the hotel.

So one cherry bomb, two long islands, and one tall Blue Moon(man, I sound like an alchie. These happened at different parts of the night. Not all at once.) later, I realize that I don’t have my phone with me. I knew I’d been feeling like something was missing all night, but I couldn’t quite put a finger on what it was. At any rate, I left a friend’s room to go back to ours and get my phone. Looking through it, I realize I have a new text message. Of course, it’s from Buddy. I think the exact thing I said was “How? What? Why is he? Seriously?! No. Whyyyyy?!”, capped off with a pouty face. So I read it and he’s all, “So whatcha been up to, stranger?” It was from an hour or so before (at least I think so, I was all screwy with the time zone change), so I debate about replying back.

The alcohol (and slight giddiness, I won’t even lie) gets the best of me and I reply. Clearly, I knew why he was texting and felt conflicting emotions about it. On the one hand I was all “AHA! I knew you’d be back!” and on the other, “So you think you can just work your way back in my life, eh?” I keep up the conversation and we both agree that we should hang out soon to catch up. WTF? No we shouldn’t. Hanging out will lead to screwing and we’re back in that cycle that I’ve tried so hard to break and keep broken.

See here’s the thing. I do not want to be in a relationship of any sort right now. Ok, FWB is not quite a relationship, but you get my point. I am not trying to be involved with any dudes for the time being. I’m working through issues with how things went down with That Dude as well as previous damage from the Buddy situation. Am I ready to go down that road again? If I’m being honest, not really.

Speaking of That Dude, yeah. . .I kinda miss him, not gonna lie. He and I were never on a romantic level, but we did have our moments. Not everything about our friendship sucked, just the majority of it, lol. The funny thing is, though, I expected him to have some sort of rebuttal about his dismissal, but not a peep. Which speaks volumes. So should I really be missing him? Probably not at all, but tell it to my heart (Taylor Dayne, I see you!). I think that when a person is a constant presence in your life, it’s hard to quickly adapt to him not being there at all.

I’m sure there will be hijinks ensuing with the whole Buddy situation this weekend. I’m on deck to be present for someone I do not like’s birthday celebration and will surely need a breather once that is done. 🙂 Oh now, off to the gym with me!

3 thoughts on “I spoke him up.

  1. Buddy – its holiday season and he wants to unwrap some presents!

    That Dude – expectations will get you get you everytime. Its hard to dismiss them and deviate from what comes natural. Try to keep in mind he didn’t meet them and most likely never will and if you’re fine with that (which in the long run I don’t think you are) then ok.

    B-day party – I was wondering if you were on board for that one *winks*

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