Gat damn you Ofrah!

Alternately titled, “My dumbass would go to KFC during free chicken week. . .”

After failed tennis lessons, I decide that I wanna be on some fat ish and get some pizza. So I’m driving home and I see the KFC/Pizza Hut. NOT THINKING, I zipped my happy ass into the parking lot and decided to get it from there. How in zee bleu hell did I forget that Our Lady of Housewives (aka Op.rah) partnered up with KFC to give away free chickens?! Drive-thru was packed! The line inside was not that long, so I decided to suffer through. I ended up being in there for about 40 minutes. I wouldn’t, however, take those 40 minutes back for the WORLD! I had the best laugh I’ve had in AGES during my stint on line.

Shortly after I got in the line, the manager announced that they were running low on chicken and there would be a 50 minute wait on the next batch. (J’s note: The time is about 5:40ish) There is a woman who is about the 4th person in line who asks, “How long is fiddy minits? Is that an hour?” It was right then and there that I knew my wait would not be in vain. Miss Shirley* would give me something to get me through this wait! And oh, she did! The following happened.

Miss Shirley: Ooh fiddy minits, uh uhn honay! We cain’t be waiting dat long. Les’ go!

[Miss Shirley & daughter begin to walk off]

[Another patron says something to her. what? I am not sure]

Miss Shirley: Oh fiddy minits is less than an hour?! Okay, honay, we can stay. Go’n git back in line.

[Cashier takes care of people in front of Miss Shirley & now it’s her turn]

Miss Shirley: [Proudly hands over her coupon]

Cashier: Do you want original or extra crispy? [In an effort to get people the hell out, they’re giving away regular chicken.]

Miss Shirley: Honay, I wants that grilled chicken. Das what I camed here fo’.

Cashier: Ma’am, it’s going to be a 50 minute wait on that chicken.

Miss Shirley: Well it should be less that that now, ain’t it? I been standing here a while.

[J’s note: 3 minutes have elapsed from the time he said 50 minute wait til Miss Shirley gets her turn in line]

Cashier: About 50 minutes still, ma’am.

Miss Shirley: Aw hell! You mean I got to be here til 7:30?! (J’s note: Please refer back to time I gave earlier. I’ll wait. . .) Waitin’ on dat chicken? I cain’t be in here all night! [snatches coupon back] We come back tomorra!

On the way out there’s a woman in front of me, she walks over to the lady and is like, “GUHL, dey said is gon be fiddy minits for dat grilled chicken!!!” The lady just ignores her and looks sort of embarassed.

I about DIED of laughter. I could barely hold it in until she got out of the door. People were looking at me like I was insane because I was relaying the whole exchange to The Nurse over the phone and laughing so damn hard. I couldn’t help myself. Thank you, Miss Shirley. You made my otherwise shiteous day have a happy ending! 🙂

3 thoughts on “Gat damn you Ofrah!

  1. I love when you can turn a crappy situation into happy! Loved this story too. These crazy things always happen to you 🙂

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