Friends, how many of us have them?

I went to the Universoul Circus last weekend with Dani, Nec, Sheena, & Sheena’s lil cousin. Mike’s dad got Dani free tickets and we benefitted. YAY! 🙂 It was SUCH a fun time. I hadn’t been in so long, I’d forgotten how fun it could be. Fugg a Barnum & Bailey! Where else can you see Casper (aka the ChaCha slide man) act out Lenny Williams’ “‘Cause I Love You” and his lady follow up with Jennifer Holiday’s “And I Am Telling You (I’m Not Going)”?! Only in Chicago, LOL! I lost track of where I was going with this just that fast. Let’s move it on back now. . .to the title. A Whodini song that speaks the truth. I actually heard this song at the circus, it sparked an idea, and I had to make a blog draft so that I could remember to come back here and share my epiphany.

I am truly blessed to have some of the most amazing friends in the world. I know that I can call any of them day or night and they’ll be there for me. Hell, I have called some of them at the oddest times sniffling and souping snot; and they listened to my crazy ass, calmed me down, & made me feel 100% better.

There are some people, however, who are not friends that I still continue to let hang around. These people are leeches, sucking the air from me. I just can’t let them go though because of the history and many other factors. I wonder though, how does one go about telling someone “You know what? We can’t be friends. . .” and I don’t mean in that Deborah Cox & R.L. way either. ( Well aware that this is the second time in a week that I’ve used this reference. What can I say? I like that song! LOL) These relationships are not symbiotic (see definition #4) either. It’s me giving myself over and over to recieve nothing but heartache and irritation in return.

Why do I a) allow this to go on and 2) refuse to let things go? Like Jazmine Sullivan said, “I’m scared to move on, so I live in the past. . .” Every time I think I have the strength to let these people go, I get to reminscing on times long gone when things were different and talk myself into believing that I am not trying hard enough. I can’t let go. But I must. So I have begun.

I am loyal to a fault. I think this goes hand in hand with my inability to trust, as backwards as that may sound. It takes a lot for a person to gain my trust fully and once they do, they’re cemented in my circle. I will go to the wire for someone whom I consider friend. There are those, however, who slip through the cracks and later turn out to be unworthy of my trust, but I just cannot let go. It gets to the point where they’re such an intrinsic part of my life, then the true colors come shining through.

Recently I did a phone book purge. I deleted every number that I haven’t called (or recieved a call from) recently. Some people were exceptions to the rule (Kiki, Ally, Cheryl, etc—mis amigas cheetas with whom I communicate in other ways), but most were repeat offenders. Those who wronged me in some way, but based upon past performance were allowed to stay in my circle. I have to say after this purge I feel MUCH lighter. 🙂

One Response to “Friends, how many of us have them?”

  • shannonâ™  says:

    Girl! If I did that — I have like three numbers in my phone! Hahaha. This issue is TOO depressing I’m glad YOU feel lighter haha.


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