bullshittery.

prepare for a full on stream of consciousness, rambling post full of random thoughts and anecdotes.

the following conversation (paraphrased) happened at approximately 4:30pm CST on Sunday July 20, 2008.

veep: i’m glad that i was not born in a third world country
me: [puzzled look]
veep: i mean really, all they have is like dirty water and rice. they don’t even know what cake tastes like.
me: [slowly transforms from puzzled look to amused look]
veep: i’m glad that i was born in america and i know what cake tastes like!
me: [waits a beat. . .laughs uproariously]
veep: seriously, can you imagine if you didn’t know what cake tasted like?
me: [laughing entirely too hard now] you know i’m so putting this on my blog, right?

i do not know how we got onto this subject. we were at a baby shower that gave us some of the most magnificent cake i’ve eaten in a while; but i dunno how my friend got to 3rd world countries who didn’t know what cake tasted like. i am, however, very glad that she went there because it’s become the running joke of the week. all i have to do is think of cake and i immediately burst into giggles.

***

the veep has been providing me with all sorts of laughs this week. this guy that she is talking to, codename: sparks, is a promoter/wannabe entertainer. he wrote this poem and wanted her feedback on it. thusly, she sent it on and let me read. let me say that it was some of the most interesting poetry i’ve read in a while. it wasn’t bad. . .just not good. it made me realize why i never share my writing with people because if someone ripped on me like i did this guy. . .my feelings would be so hurt. i do, however, have a grip on commandeering the English language soooo. . .i might not be so bad after all.

still though i am hesitant to call myself a writer anymore. i used to wear the title with such pride. throwing it around as much as possible. i’m not a writer though. how can you proclaim to be something that you do not actively pursue? i cannot tell you the last time i’d written anything that wasn’t work related and/or this blog. i get ideas every once in a while, but that spark fizzles faster than freshly popped champagne (mmmmchampagne! reminds me of brunch with the ladies on sunday for my homie cheryl’s birtday!). i’m working on getting my head back in the game though.

***

speaking of. . .i’ve been out of sorts for the past few weeks. feeling some kinda way about myself. i dunno if anyone actually paid attention, but a bit ago i made a post about this dude i was feeling heavily. notice the past tense in that previous sentence. not so sure i’m really feeling him & i together on some real shit or the idea of him & i together. if that makes sense? plus he frustrates me beyond belief 75% of the time. would i really want to put up with the bullshit? me dun tink so!

on the other hand, i do believe that i am fully ready to be wifed up. well not literally, i guess the better term would be girlfriended up, lol. it’s just so hard for me to meet some dude who’s real and not into playing games. anybody out there know any great guys? i’ll even take a hook up at this point. he doesnt even have to meet my rigorous list of standards inspired of rw boston kameelah, haha! i’m straightforward with my dealings with guys and i expect them to be the same. leave the bullshit at the door, nah mean?

***

speaking of bullshit, i’ve once again retired Buddy’s jersey. it’s weird because i kinda liked him for a second. was a couple steps away from being on some keyshia cole “i’m diggin everything you appear to be and i’m wondering if we could be real good good friends” type ish. (shut up meera!) but then practicality reared its head and i realized that i could never do anything beyond “the grownup” with that dude. trying to build a relationship would be beyond weird. for reasons i cannot and will not go into right now.

coincidentally, i had a dream about him last night. it was the most random thing ever. i was trying to call ally, but instead called him. how? i dunno because their names are nowhere near each other in my phone. (ironically, he and that dude’s numbers are back to back. well were before i changed their names in my phone.) long story short, we ended up having it out on the phone and i think my exact final words to him were “fuck you and your wack ass dick! i don’t need this shit! lose my number please!” lyrics from “chivas” were also quoted in the course of the conversation. latent aggression coming through in the dream. also, i’ve been scared shitless to call ally because i think it may come true (i’ve had eerily similar things happen before). so sad because i need to talk to my pally!

ok well i’m off to find my cellphone. i haven’t seen it in a few hours and i know ni probably called me back. i hope i didn’t throw it in the dumpster. d’oh!

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