On energy…

Sorry guys, I’ve been MIA. If you follow me on any other social media, you’ll know that the last couple weeks have been a special kinda hell for some of my extended family. We lost my uncle unexpectedly on Friday 5/10 & with all of the gathering of family and funeral events, the last thing on my brain was a blog. But I’m back now…or whateva, ha!

So at my uncle’s wake, my cousins, some of my cousins’ friends and I were sitting near the back of the room in a semi-circle, talking. We were talking about one of my cousin’s inability to be aware of her surroundings and the manner in which she speaks when certain people are around. Long story short, we were at the hospital, sitting in a waiting room after my uncle passed. My cousin T walked out of the room in which my uncle was being held into the waiting room where Cousin D & I sat. Cousin T merely asked where we were coming from and Cousin D’s first words were “I was at motherfucking Oakbook…” Cousin T bucked her eyes and quickly escorted us to another area to continue our discussion. When asked why she hustled us out so quickly, we were informed that the older woman with us in the waiting room was my uncle’s pastor’s mom. Meanwhile Cousin D had been cussin’ up a storm.

So at the wake we were all laughing because as Cousin D recounted the story to those who weren’t there she kept saying to Cousin T “the energy that you were giving off caused my reactions”.  And this exchange of energy phrase became our refrain throughout the weekend. Whenever we needed a moment of levity, the Energy was brought up. A tool of amusement for the most part, but the idea of it kept sticking in my brain enough that I wanted to actually talk about the validity of energy exchange.

The older I get, the more hippy dippy I become. I’m getting into all sorts of magical and mystical things, but this energy situation is something that is most palpable to me. I feel it present most when I’m surrounded with the company of other Black women. I have to specify because it’s a totally different vibe when I’m surrounded by my friends of others colors and/or genders. I can’t even really describe it, it’s just a thing. A sense of comfort, going home, finding your tribe and identifying with them. Which is why I’m so thankful for my brown girl brunch crew. That gathering of energies helps me recenter myself every month as we come together to nosh, drink, gossip, uplift, inspire, and just relax.

I’m constantly working on the energy I put into the universe, too. I feel as if being cognizant of the ways in which I affect others is a stepping stone to helping me be a better person. Particularly, knowing when the energy I’m transmitting is not some that needs to be shared with the masses. This is my biggest struggle now to stem the flow of the negative energy and redirect it into different channels. The learning curve on that shit is hiiiiiigh.

What say y’all? Any tips and/or tricks for energy redistribution? Letcha girl know.

On my squad…

A few years ago I wrote a post in which I outlined the different levels of friendship. I was inspired to write this post because of a conversation I had with my friend about a mutual friend of ours who always had an issue that she wasn’t issued an invitation to every single thing we did together, even if it was impromptu. In rereading that post nearly 4 years later, most of it still stands and I’d call it one of my favorite posts on this here site, honestly. I still ascribe to the tenets therein and with the exception of the dissolution of AK47 as the board of trustees, the sorting for certain folks in my life tend to still be constructed by those designations. All of this talk here is arbitrary because the focus of this post is not friend group designations, but for me to big up some of my friends  who honestly keep ya girl on her square when she’s precariously balanced and ready to jump off of it.

LG is my sister. I talk to her daily and when I am finally ready to let go and let loose with my emotional crying jags she lets me soup snot in her ear and reassures me that I’m not completely insane. She is one of the kindest souls I’ve ever met and is deserving of all the nice and fine and good things in life.

SL is lil pistol starter. She’s who I call when I have my “am I tripping or…?” moments and she’s right there like either “naw, my G I peep game” or “yeah my G, you straight trippin”. She’s honest, sincere, and a great drinking partner LMAO.

ST is new to the fold, but like SL I can count on her to give me the real. She’s the “Sh” to my “Ade”. She is levelheaded and fiery and honest. And also a great drinking buddy, LOL.

CJ is a godsend. Honestly don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have her to talk me off this ledge I climb up every time I think about this book I’m allegedly writing. She’s my Obi Wan Penobi.

EK is my most levelheaded friend. She is a woman who knows what she wants and how to get it and I am inspired by the manner in which she lives her life completely on her own terms.

CC, SD, WD, TT, AR, AE, EH, DW, JP, EW, KD, NP, NC & KDJ bring so much light and laughter to my life. A group of witty, grounded, intelligent women who are a part of my village for which I am ever grateful.

You might see yourself up there, you might not. Just know that whether or not, I’ve called you out today–if you have my phone number and we talk regularly enough, then know that I appreciate you. But these ones were on my heart and mind when I wrote this post. 🙂