I have a gripe. It seems as if everywhere I turn (facebook, twitter, my email inbox, my cell phone text message inbox), I am bombarded with women saying “Why am I single?” It is as if I have fallen into a cult of women preoccupied with the fact that they are not currently
getting penis from a committed donor on a regular basis in a relationship. *sigh* I feel like I’ve ranted about this before, but it has all fallen on deaf ears.
I haven’t had a boyfriend since Clinton(…wait I mean Bush II) was in office. I hate to admit that, but it’s the truth. Well…there were a few dalliances that found me in some kind of pseudorelationships, but those don’t count. Either I was not aware that I was someone’s girlfriend (how that happens, I dunno) or well…we were just erm…special friends. *nudge, wink* Nevertheless, I realize that it doesn’t take long to get from here:
I always want to tell my single friends who lament about having a man that the grass isn’t always greener. I hear it from my friends who are hitched about the troubles, hassles, & headaches that relationships bring & how they wish they were unencumbered. It’s a catch-22, my friends, if we’re being honest.
I just really and I mean REALLY get irritated hearing the same people cry about being single over and over, while they are not doing anything to actively change their situation. If I really wanted to be with someone, there are most certainly things I could do and end up with a boo thang in 2.75 minutes. #weoffthat Similarly, those who complain to me about being single could do the same things. But they refuse to. Why?
It’s simple. They are looking for some man whom they’ve dreamed up who looks perfect on paper, but is probably non-existant in real life. I’m not saying that in order to get someone you have to let go of all of your standards, but you do have to be less rigid in some aspects. That 6’4″ chocolate adonis who is starring in your wet dreams nightly is not likely to be sans children, with a PhD & high paying job, or whatever other standard you may set forth that he absolutely must be. In the words of my homegirl Lindsay, “Ruh. Lax” You’re so busy trying to find this perfect man that you are not stopping to think about whether you would even be a blip on his radar. What are you bringing to the table to make you worthy of such a pairing?
We’ve all seen the impossibly handsome man with a dowdy looking female and wondered “what the hell? how the hell? who the hell?”, then proceeded to throw a one-woman pity party wearing the latest designs from Woe Is Me. *yawn* Perhaps what you can’t see is that this women, in all of her plain non-glory gives this man something that he craves. Whether it be great food, seks, conversation, etc…she does it for him. Instead of “hating” (gah, I cringe to use that) how bout you give her a mental high five for snagging who appears to be a catch. Afterall, looks can be deceiving. How many of us have gone for the physically attractive, seemingly all together man only to find out that he had more issues than US Weekly.
Moral of the story: Being single is not like having the plague. It won’t kill you.