Today we’re gonna do a little interview with me. So let’s get it crackin’.
Q: J, what is your favorite movie genre?
A: Romantic Comedy
Q: J, what is your favorite book genre?
A: Romance novels
Q: J, what is your favorite type of song?
A: Love songs
Ok wait a minute! We’re gonna stop this right here. I’m sensing a pattern here! There seems to be a preoccupation of sorts with love. I admit it. I am in love with the thought of love. I’m convinced though, that I will never experience pure love in the romantic sense. Y’see there have been times that I thought that I was in love, but was just a bad case of heartburn, heh! Well one time in particular, I now realize that it was a strong case of lust that I equated with love.
I think my problem is not being able to distinguish between having love for someone and being in love with someone. I get to the point where I love a guy in a friendly type of way and I automatically assume (since he’s an unrelated male) that I’m in love with him. This whole love thing is a bear to figure out. Too much to think about and qualify that it makes it not really worth the hassle, hah! Yeah right. I can’t wait to find my true wuv and live happily ever after ‘n stuff.
Anyways, so the other day my coworkers and I were talking about marriage. They laughed at me when I told them that I just want the wedding. As wrong as that sounds, I totally mean it. I mean, ok, yeah I do want to be in love with whomever I get married to, but I really want the wedding.
I want the damned white dress. I want the bridesmaids, groomsmen, and my bebe as my flower girl. I want my daddy to walk me down the aisle, as we have a conversation about something silly he remembers about me from my childhood or how geeked I am to be getting married or something completely out of the ordinary that will make me laugh uncontrollably. I want the champagne…in copious amounts. I want the planning stressing without the Bridezilla assuming.
The problem is, you can’t get married without a groom. You can’t get a groom without dating. You can’t date if you don’t put yourself out there. Aaaaaand, I don’t typically put myself out there. I haven’t really been in the mood to date for the last couple of years. Yes, you read that right. There have been guys that I’ve been attracted to and all, but not nearly any that have motivated me to want to actively pursue them.
I need to fix that, so I can have my wedding, damnit!