Interracial dating. . .and a question.

This is a post from my old blog that I’m throwing up until I come up with some fresh material. So if you start reading and think, “Whoa this sounds familiar”, no it’s not dejavu.

So I was listening to the radio this morning. . .not DreX, I flipped over to Eddie, Jobo, and Erica on B96. First of all, let me say, did they really think that adding Erica was going to make them better than the Drex crew? Mel T. trumps Erica any day, lol. That just bored about all 3 of you who read this and don’t listen to Chicago radio. This morning’s topic was interracial dating and whether or not it was still taboo in Chicago in 2007. Some of the replies were ridiculous. Erica, being a Black woman married to a White man, made some good points though. This one Black chick was killing me though. Talking about she saw a Black man/White woman combo and the woman was throwing the fact that she (the white woman) was with a Black man in her (the black woman) face because they were kissing in public. How about they probably didn’t even care who the hell was looking and were just really into PDA? I doubt the thought ever crossed that woman’s mind. Get over yourself, goodbye lady! Ugh, I hate when people project. I’m digressing though. Listening to their discourse made me think about my own (semi-hypocritical, in some cases) views on interracial dating.

Let me preface this by saying that I am totally biased. Yes, you read that right. I’m a bigoted prick and proud of it. I don’t know it if’s as much bigotry as much as a general contempt for humankind, but yes. I equally discriminate against all people. The thing that irritates me immensely is when people say is that they ONLY date [insert race that’s more than likely NOT their own here]. E.g.: A White woman called into the show saying that when White men approach her, she tells them that she only dates Black men and gets called names. *sigh* Of course you do, lady! You’ve just backed yourself into a corner that you shouldn’t even have to be in in the first place! Okay…having a preference is fine. Lord knows I have a few preferences myself. I’m a heightist. I don’t date short boys. But I don’t go around saying, “I only date guys who are 5’8” or taller!” If you’re not interested, just tell them that. You don’t need to wave a banner that says, “I only date so and so.” That isn’t their business. All they need to know is that you don’t want to date them. You put yourself in that awkward situation when you unnecessarily advertise your preferences.

Along these same lines, I cannot stand for someone to say that do not date within their own race. That’s just stupid. I don’t like Black men because one Black man did me dirty. I don’t like White women because one White woman whored around on me. I don’t like Mexican men because they’re too controlling. I don’t like Indian men because they have small peens (LMFAO that was just for My Meera). Generalizations and stereotypes are no fun, my friends. Not every person who fits a general category is the same. My family is living proof that not all Black women are the same, shoot. We run the gamut when it comes to spousal choices, music tastes, careers, etc.

Most people don’t like to be typecast, so why do it to others? While you’re narrowing your scope, you could miss out on the love of your life and not even realize it. Dummy.

I’ve never dated outside my race. I’ve drunkenly made out with White and Latino guys (‘sup North Beach and Bootleggers), but that’s about it. Not that I’m not attracted or won’t date outside my race, just haven’t found any that I’ve considered (I don’t want to say this word, but no other comes to mind) worthy of getting involved with. You’d think that after the tribulations that I’ve had with Black men that I’d say eff it and never date another one again, but I don’t believe in stifling myself. The truth of the matter is this, love has no color.

Our society is so hung up on race/ethnicity/skin color that we forget what’s important. Having respect for your fellow man/woman and treating every one equally. There is no way that we should still be having this racial discourse nearly 300 years after slavery. People like to comment on how much progress we’ve made in our society, but the fact of the matter is that we haven’t made much progress at all. There’s still racism at the core. In most cases, it’s just more covert. I will admit, sometimes when I see a fine Brotha with a White girl on his arm, I’m like “damn…another one gone”. Then I have to check myself and realize that no matter what I think, they’re together because they enjoy one another’s company. Stop hatin’.

Another thing about the discussion interracial dating that always amazes me is that it is always limited to Black/White. Mainstream society seems to forget that we have other ethnic groups mixing as well. Judging from the tales I’ve heard from people of these other ethnicities, they have just a hard time as the Whites and Blacks. Anytime race is being discussed in this country, we tend to focus solely on just Whites and Blacks. We tend to forget that there are other minorities being discriminated against as well. That irks me to no end. That’s another discussion for another day though.

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Riddle me this, have you ever met a person to whom you were instantly drawn or turned off by? Not solely in a romantic sense either. Like there was just something about the person that either made you want to a)know more or 2) go running for the hills? If so, can you describe what exactly it was that you felt?

Some things I’ve been thinking about. . .

Has there ever been one person who you just cannot get out of your mind? You could go without seeing or talking to this person for a great while, but thoughts of him/her linger in the back of your mind regardless? It’s amazingly frustrating is what it is, haha. It’s also forcing me to come to terms with something that I have been refusing to come to terms with. *sigh* I’m being incredibly vague right now because y’all don’t need to know everything that’s going on unless you’re privy. Very few are. And it isn’t always those who think that they are. 🙂 I’m backwards like that. I share less with those closer to me. Just ask the BFF.

I’m trying to find a church. My sister and I were speaking about this yesterday during her visit. We both want to go to the same type of church. Problem is that it doesn’t seem to exist, lol. It has to be Baptist, but we can’t be in there all day. Not tryna get into it with praise dancing and all of the other extracurricular business. Give me an A selection, B selection, Sermon, & ONE offering and I’m good. Actually, I’m more than good. I’m good squared. 🙂 So I’m gonna ask around and see if I can find any nonfanatical churches in my area. Wish me luck!

So there’s this dude, right? Naaaaah, nevermind. Moving on. . .

I’ve begun working out, but it came to a crashing halt this week as Aunt Flo left me incapacitated for the last few days. I’m going to get my tail back in there today though. At least half an hour. We’ve started a Biggest Loser contest at my job, so I can’t be off my game. Gotta drop the LBs, son! 🙂 Plus I gotta be freekum dress ready in exactly 107 days. That’s not a lot of time. Ideally I’d love to lose about 50 pounds by the end of summer, with 35-40 of them happening before my birthday. I’ll keep you posted.

Just in case you didn’t catch it before, that dude. . .he’s the one on my mind.

Speaking of my birthday (like that segue?), I think I want to take a vacation by myself. Like for serious. I am torn between being totally alone and going somewhere that no one I know lives or just travelling alone to a friend’s location. I’m highly contemplating the second one because it’d be more fun. You know about my inability to do things alone, lol.

Ok, the white elephant in the room. Long story short. I thought I’d be able to not go into it, but I can’t. So there’s this dude. I think I may (read: like totally, fer sure) have feelings for said dude, but don’t exactly want to allow myself to act upon or even acknowledge said feelings. Mainly because I’m most certain that they are not mutual. Which kinda hurts my heart & soul more than I want to allow myself to believe. Tru fax. Anyway. Unfortunately for me, things aren’t that cut and dry, so yes. I’m pining, betches. I feel like I’m back in high school struggling with my mondo crush on NH (who could probably still get it if I’m being honest). ::le sigh::

All right, I’m off to watch Women’s Murder Club and pretend like I’m working! 🙂 I ♥ my job!