“This here celibacy thaaaannnnnggggg. . .”

Word up to Jill Scott for the inspiration for the post title. If I had not misplaced my Words and Sounds Vol.3: The Real Thing, I would most certainly be playing the hell out of Jill’s “Celibacy Blues”. Baby, have I got them! HAHA! I think my friends are going totally start boycotting phone calls and text messages and emails from me if I don’t stop talking about it.

The simple fact is this. I (stupidly) pledged myself to celibacy pending the acquisition of a boyfriend. I love how I refer to it as if it is a business transaction, haha! I then promptly decided to go underground, off the social map, therefore decreasing my chances of meeting said boyfriend. Yeah, I’m some kinda smart, aren’t I? I basically set myself up for failure, ya dig?

As of Sunday it was exactly 12 months. Amazing that I had no idea that it would be the last seks EVAR, but I remember the date. Mainly because it is someone I know’s birthday, lol. Not the person with whom I had seks, but someone else. Oddly enough his birthday is on Valendooms Day. I digress, as usual. Anyway, so the other day I was talking with a guy friend and I asked him what’s the longest he’s gone without. He said 7 months. I was all, “That’s nothing!” Knowing fully well that when it was around 7 months for me, I felt like I was dying, lol.

This is the problem with me. Whenever I get something good, I need it all the time. I will wear out a song, restaurant, and anything else that I deem to be the best evar (at that point in time). It takes a lot for me to tire of it, if it’s that good. And it was. Actually, probably even better since I can only seem to recall the last time which was sub par.

Point is, I have an addictive personality. This is why I don’t toke and have to really control myself when it comes to drinking. I come from a family of addicts. I don’t care what anyone says, some of that is biological. Especially when you look at the statistics of my family, which I will not run down right now. I’ll just say that on both sides there were too many people with addiction problems that spanned generations. I don’t want to end up a statistic.

This is my dilemma though. Do I continue on this self-imposed celibacy world tour or not? I really meant it when I said that I didn’t want to be screwing dudes all willy nilly, but a girl has needs as well. I’m so torn like LeToya Luckett. In the end, I’m sure you’ll hear more about my issue. I don’t think it’d be within me to just do it for the sake of doing it.


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